My Heart His Words
Victim or Victor

Victim or Victor?

“Life is hard #butGod” has been my motto in recent years, as I navigated many losses and journeyed through healing my body. However, amidst all the losses one thing remained: I chose to have a VICTOR attitude rather than a VICTIM attitude through it all. Clinging to the Word of God for strength, I held Philippians 4:13 close to my heart:

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”

It was important to me that I maintain a VICTOR attitude over a VICTIM attitude because I truly wanted healing in all areas of my life.  One thing my daddy taught me when I was learning to drive a car was this: where you focus your eyes is where you will go.  Turns out, he wasn’t just teaching me a driving lesson, but a life lesson and one that has stuck with me all these years.  What I mean by this is simple: as we go through various challenges in life it can be tempting to focus on all the negatives we’re facing. However, focusing on those negatives points us in the direction of negativity, bad attitudes, discouraging talk and a depressed outlook on life. However, focusing on the positives of what we’re facing is truly empowering because it leads us into a positive outlook on life, gives us a brighter disposition, fills our mouths with positivity and a focus on all God’s blessings in our lives. Does this mean we are always feeling happy and gushing about how wonderful life is amidst the pain and challenges? Absolutely not. I’m not advocating we live a fake “white picket fence” life. Rather, I am advocating that we live authentically by choosing a VICTOR attitude rather than choosing a VICTIM attitude.  We do have a choice!! Let me give some examples from my own life.

  • Facing the loss of my both my parents was the hardest loss I had experienced. It rocked my world in ways I could have never expected. However, I chose a VICTOR attitude by choosing to focus on the time I was blessed with and the gift I was given in being able to care for each of them while showing them the love they deserved. Did I cry? Yes. Was I angry that God took them from me? Yes. Was I broken and hurting for a long time after losing them? Yes. Did I withdraw from people and activities? Yes. However amidst the pain I chose to step back and look at the big picture and embrace the good along with the painful. Through God’s comfort and mercy I got through the deepest pain and now I am on the other side, able to be an encouragement to others facing similar illnesses and losses.
  • Facing the reality of needing to remove my breast implants plunged me into a healing journey I never expected. You can read my BII story HERE. Not only did I go through explant surgery, but then I chose to work with a Holistic Practitioner in order to gain a deeper understanding of what my body was needing to heal. It was through working with Sarah that I discovered some of the root causes of my gut dis-ease and as a result was able to heal from the inside out. Was the process difficult? Yes. Were there days I felt discouraged? Yes. Was the process long and tiring? Yes. However, amidst the process of surgery and my journey with Sarah I chose a VICTOR attitude by focusing on the beautiful things I was learning about my body, as well as how much better I was feeling. I kept focusing on the healing journey, not the painful part of the journey and now I am healthier and happier than I’ve been in decades!! As a result, God has opened the door for me to work with Sarah in her business, where I offer an Emotional Support Group for women and girls wanting to learn to love their good body the way God created it.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 says,
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
He is the Father who is full of mercy, the God of all comfort.

He comforts us every time we have trouble so that when others have trouble,
we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us.

We share in the many sufferings of Christ.
In the same way, much comfort comes to us through Christ.”

We live in a society where it has become easier to embrace a Victim mentality because there are social media groups created in the name of “support”. Please hear my heart when I say this: I am all for creating a safe community where people can be vulnerable and share their story. However, there is a fine line in sharing our pain and wallowing in our pain. Many of the “support” groups out there are simply not cultivating a safe space to heal while encouraging it’s participants to embrace a VICTOR mentality, so instead the space is filled with “woah is me”, pity parties and rallying together to cry about how hard life can be. It is human nature to focus on what is right in front of us, however, God calls us to set our minds on things above, and to focus on the good things in our lives. So next time you find yourself in the midst of a conversation where you are more inclined to focus on the negative than the positive I challenge you to stop and think of the scriptures I’ve shared in this post and ask God to help you to refocus your eyes on the blessings He’s given rather than the challenge(s) you’re facing.

Friend, the choice is ours to make: will we choose to be a Victim or a Victor? I pray you will choose to be a VICTOR who is victorious in Christ and receive the strength He lovingly gives to get you through any challenge(s) you face.  Regardless of how difficult the journey, you are not alone; you have a Father who loves you and desires to bring you through victoriously. Cling to Him and lean into Him for strength and courage to endure.  If you need prayer or just need some encouragement on your journey, feel free to drop me a message and let me know how I can support and pray for you. It’s truly an honor to share this space with you.


With Love,




  1. Sharyn on May 10, 2023 at 7:15 PM

    Absolutely love these words of balance truth and Godly wisdom. xo

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Satin Pelfrey

Satin Pelfrey

Satin is a writer, wife and stepmom encouraging others through the hard days, bringing the Scriptures alive through life-application and drawing them closer to Jesus.

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