Finding The New Normal

Finding The New Normal
{Mom and me}
We’re sitting across the table, eating dinner, enjoying a delicious meal accompanied with chatter, laughter, and even a few tears.
We talk about life, our days now, and then it turns to reminiscing on our life together with my Daddy, so consequently we shed some tears, because the truth is, we both miss him terribly. Yet we’re sitting at a new restaurant, trying new food and making new memories together, doing our best to embrace the “new normal”
What does the new normal look like after losing someone you love? I’m learning the answer to this, one day at a time, but from my perspective, the new normal is simply choosing to make new memories… even though it’s painful to do so, without the person you love and lost.
Guilt tugs at my heart strings as I struggle to embrace the new normal, for fear of losing the old memories of my Daddy. That same guilt threatens to keep me hunkered down for a long winter of sadness, for fear of somehow hurting my Daddy by moving on without him. However, his words resound in my heart and triumph over all: “When I am gone, don’t spend your days crying over me! Move on! Live your life and be happy. No wallowing in the mulligrubs”
It’s easy to get in a rut, staying where we are comfortable, and when something as painful as death rocks our world, it’s even more difficult to branch out into something new and unfamiliar. However, I am finding that part of my healing process requires that I put myself out there, embrace the change and make new memories to help heal my hurting heart.
For me, the new normal is tattered with smiles and laughs as well as reminiscing and tears. Though guilt throws its nasty daggers at my heart, I refuse to let those daggers sink in, because reality is, my Daddy is very much a part of who I am! In order to honor his wishes for my own happiness, I must choose to make new memories.
Making new memories doesn’t mean erasing the old memories; it simply means that while I make these new memories, I carry my Daddy’s memories along for the ride. There may be tears, as I hike up to the top of a waterfall, or sink my toes in to the sand.. as I choose to make new memories, yet wish my Daddy were there to share them with me. However, like I said in my goodbye letter to my Daddy, those tears aren’t bad, they come from a heart overflowing with love. Those tears mean my Daddy made an impact on me in such a way that even when he’s not with me in person, his passion, his spirit and his love for adventure lives on in me every single day.
The “new normal” doesn’t have anything “normal” about it, it’s new and unfamiliar, yet I’m choosing to embrace it one moment at a time.
Amidst this ever-changing life, one thing is certain: God is forever faithful.

No Comments
Leave a Comment

Satin Pelfrey
Keep on Reading
Other Posts You May Enjoy
To Hurry, or Not to Hurry
Do you live your life in a constant state of go-go-go? Hurrying from here, to get to there?? Hurrying from this task, to take on a new task? I’ll admit it-I’m guilty! Please join me over at 5 minutes for Faith for more…
A Call To Obey
I know it’s been awhile, friends, but I am exactly where God wants me to be, and thus the reason my pen has been laid down “for such a time as this”. I am currently sitting at my work desk with tears streaming down my face because of God’s unfailing love and provision. When I…
Journey to Rest (Week 5)
Hebrews 4:11 shows that rest is more than a mere suggestion from God, it’s an act of obedience. Truth be told, in my struggle to “find the time” to rest, all I’m doing is running. I may not be intentionally running away from God; my intentions may be to do all the running for God.…
Thank you Satin for those beautiful words full of life realism and groundedly impacting. Yes to it all. I carry my mom with me as new memories are made and yes…tears fall but in love and honour.
Thank you for sharing the journey.
Much blessing.
Sharyn☺