Hello Friend!

There was a season in my life where I would leave “girls nights” feeling… empty.

And I didn’t yet have the language for it, but I was beginning to understand why some tables leave you empty.

Not because there wasn’t laughter.
Not because there wasn’t fun.

There was plenty of both.

But beneath the surface, something in my spirit felt unsettled.

The conversations often revolved around appearance, comparison, or tearing down the very relationships we were meant to nurture. There was little room for vulnerability… little space for authenticity.

And if I’m honest, I didn’t feel safe being real.

I couldn’t quite put words to it at the time, but I knew this much:

Something wasn’t aligning.

---

The Moment That Changed Everything

The shift didn’t come in a quiet moment with my journal or during prayer.

It came through an ugly confrontation… one I didn’t handle well.

My words lacked gentleness.
My delivery lacked love.

And while I could clearly see what felt off in the situation, I couldn’t ignore what God was revealing in me.

My pride.
My lack of compassion.
My need to be understood instead of seeking to understand.

Scripture tells us:

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” — James 1:19

In that moment, I was none of those things.

I stepped outside to gather myself, but when I walked back in, I heard them talking about me.

It stung deeply.

But even in the hurt, there was a quiet confirmation in my spirit.

The very thing I had feared, being fully seen, especially at my worst, would lead to judgment instead of grace, was unfolding right in front of me.

And yet… God wasn’t just revealing something about them.

He was revealing something in me.

---

The Hard Truth I Had to Face

As I sat with the Lord in the days that followed, a deeper realization began to unfold.

I had been placing myself in environments that didn’t reflect what God was cultivating in my heart… and then feeling disappointed when there was a disconnect.

Not from a place of judgment.
Not from a place of comparison.

But from a place of misalignment.

I was longing for depth… while sitting in spaces that thrived on surface.
I was desiring growth… without first allowing God to deepen those roots in me.

I started to see more clearly why some tables leave you empty, and why God was inviting me into something deeper.

And slowly, the Lord brought this verse to life in a way I couldn’t ignore:

“Bad company corrupts good character.” — 1 Corinthians 15:33

Not as condemnation toward others…

But as an invitation to examine where I was placing myself, and what it was producing in me.

Because Scripture also reminds us:

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” — Proverbs 13:20

And I had to ask myself honestly:

Was I placing myself in environments that were strengthening my walk with God… or quietly pulling me away from it?

---

The Season of Stepping Away

For a season, about a year, God invited me into something I didn’t expect.

Not into fixing relationships.
Not into confronting others.

But into surrender.

I stepped back, not in rejection, but in realignment.

I needed time.

Time to heal.
Time to grow.
Time to sit with Jesus and allow Him to reshape my heart.

“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” — James 4:8

That became my focus.

And in that closeness, He began to uncover things I hadn’t fully seen before:

• areas of pride

• gaps in my communication

• a lack of gentleness in how I carried truth

He also taught me something that has stayed with me ever since:

Not every place you see clearly is a place you’re assigned to speak.

Because truth without love isn’t the goal.

“Speaking the truth in love…” — Ephesians 4:15

And sometimes love looks like silence, prayer, and trusting God to work in ways we cannot.

During that season, the Lord began to show me something I hadn’t fully understood before.

The answer wasn’t simply to avoid certain environments altogether.

It was to become so rooted in Him… that I could walk into any room without losing alignment.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.” — Matthew 5:14

I realized I didn’t yet have the spiritual strength to remain grounded in those spaces without being influenced by them.

And instead of asking me to try harder or prove anything… God invited me to come away with Him.

To be built.
To be refined.
To be anchored.

So that one day, I could return, not searching to be filled…
but carrying His presence with me.

Not needing the room to give me something…
but able to bring something into it.

Because there’s a difference between being shaped by the atmosphere…

and walking in as someone who carries it.

---

What Changed

As I began to spend intentional time with the Lord, something shifted from the inside out.

My discernment deepened.
My contentment grew.
My dependence on others for fulfillment began to loosen.

I stopped striving to be filled in my friendships…

And started abiding in Him first.

“Abide in Me, and I in you… apart from Me you can do nothing.” — John 15:4–5

And from that place, everything began to reorder.

---

The Beauty of Right Placement

I want to be very clear here:

This wasn’t about cutting people off.
This wasn’t about labeling anyone as “less than.”

This was about right placement.

Because even Jesus had different circles:

• the crowds

• the twelve

• and the three

Not everyone had the same level of access, and that wasn’t rejection.

It was intentional.

There are friendships in my life that are filled with joy, laughter, and lightness, and I now embrace them fully for what they are.

And there are friendships that go deeper, where we pray together, speak truth in love, check in on one another, and challenge each other in our faith, our marriages, and our walk with Jesus.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” — Proverbs 27:17

Both are gifts.

But they are not the same table.

And when we stop expecting them to be…
we stop walking away feeling empty.

---

An Invitation to Pause

If you’ve ever found yourself leaving conversations feeling unfulfilled… I want to gently invite you to bring that before the Lord.

“Search me, God, and know my heart… see if there is any offensive way in me.” — Psalm 139:23–24

Not with judgment.
Not with frustration.

But with openness.

Ask Him:

• Where do I feel spiritually fed… and where do I feel spiritually drained?

• Have I invited You into my friendships, or only into my quiet time?

Because sometimes, the shift we’re longing for isn’t found in new relationships…

It’s found in allowing God to become our foundation first.

“Seek first the kingdom of God…” — Matthew 6:33

And from that place, He faithfully orders the people, places, and spaces in our lives.

---

A Seat at the Table

If this is a season where you’re craving deeper, Christ-centered connection… you’re not alone.

And you don’t have to walk it out alone either.

My sweet friend and sister in Christ, Sarah Phillipe, and I have created spaces for women just like you—women who desire meaningful conversation, encouragement, prayer, and growth in their walk with Jesus.

We would truly love to invite you to the table with us.

You can join us on our podcast, Spirit-Filled Girl Talk, where we have honest, faith-filled conversations about real life and walking closely with God.

We’ve also created a private Facebook community—a place where women come together to share, support one another, and grow in Christ-centered friendship.

There is a seat for you here.

We would be honored to walk alongside you.

With love,